Mom and I.
Mom and I.
rocks. pop rocks
Babes is grumpy cat
Aw I’m smiling.
Look at Victor with his sex face
white lion and red panda spotted at Heroes in DTF
Babes has such perfect hair in this pic. Rawr. Turn on.
I’m gonna be looking at my computer like this for at least 4 more hours.
A lovely Friday dinner with my love.
good burritos don’t fall apart
18 vs 22
It’s been about 4 and a half years since I’ve been you. If I told you what would happen in the next few years, you probably would not believe me at all. Let’s just say that relationship you’re in at the moment—it’s important because it’s going to really challenge you and shape who you are. You will feel love for the first time. (And you thought you’d never land a girlfriend)
However… You’re also really not going to like it. You’re going to be used. You’re going to lose your sense of self. You’re going to do a lot of things that you WILL regret. For example: You’re going to skip a semester of classes. I bet you never thought you’d do that. You’ll probably think you’re going to die at certain points. One night, you’ll be in the neighborhood by South St. and Lakewood Boulevard and you’ll be screaming/bawling at the top of your lungs and you’ll fall to your knees because you’ll be so exhausted from trying to save her. Sound dramatic? It was.
She’s gonna have a bunch of those moments. And you’ll feel responsible (even though you shouldn’t).
Yeah. It wasn’t exactly the best two years of your life.
And when you think you finally get a handle of things—your car is going to get stolen. From campus. On finals week. On the day after the first Long Beach Pride festival you’ll attend. Oh, and you couldn’t even hit on girls because you won’t be able to talk from having the most terrible case of tonsillitis. That’ll happen when you’re 20. (By the way, your collection of The L Word series dvds? Yup, that was in the trunk. And nope, you don’t get it back)
But you know what? It’s alright. Things like that happen and eventually it pushes you in the right direction.
If I had a time machine to travel to you right now I probably would give you the hint that everybody else was trying to give (BREAK UP WITH HER)—but you probably wouldn’t listen to me, either. It’s okay. It’s tough to own up to the worst in us, and the worst around us. (Dude, honestly though… She’s pretty terrible. But you’re still in the honeymoon stage… wait until shit hits the fan.. again, and again. Remember: bawling from the top of your lungs.)
There’s a lot more negative things I could tell you, but I think you’ve heard enough.
How about some amazing things?
One, you’re alive.
Two, you still have your best friend, Amy. You made a best guy friend too—his name is Craig. He’s your lesbro/rainbro. You’ll meet him soon. We spent many nights drunk at Thirsty Isle by school. That’s where you bond over schooners and draw sketches of random people. Oh, and you’ll meet your favorite bartender, Katie, who will always buy your second beer (PBR!).
Three, you’re at CSULB. Not LBCC! Finally onto the next step of earning your creative writing bachelors.
Four, you’re a lot more confident now. You feel a lot more like yourself—and you aren’t afraid to show it. You finally started modifying your body. The beloved septum. The wonderful tattoos. The koi you always wanted. You also chop your hair off. It is quite liberating. You’ll find it hard to grow it back out.
And five, that confidence leads to many wonderful connections. The bulk of those connections happen in 2011. You made some GREAT connections in 2011. You stumble onto music videos of awesome girl bands and the webseries: Girl/Girl Scene on the internet. Before you know it, you’ll be friends with those amazing people after the stars finally align on the night of the Lady Killer Tour. You design a few shirts. You make those people really happy. In turn, that makes you happy. You’re an extra in a music video, too. Also, you date again. You meet really important people. You walked to the bar in Di Piazza’s, and you felt a tap on your shoulder. It’s almost been a year since that happened. That person that taps your shoulder? That’s Lou. You fall in love with her. Yeah, you fall in love again.
So, 18-year-old-me. Keep your head up. Those terrible things balanced out. I’m doing quite alright.
Do I like it like this
or do I like it like dis
My hair is like a reversible sweater.
A year ago on November 11th. It was a Friday and I was at a poetry reading for Traci L. Gourdine at Exhibit [A] on Pine.
Outside, I met the most adorable dog.